Not sure exactly what is the issue, but I'll try to explain flow.
So, you can go into Magento Admin -> Products -> Categories, and there you can select the category you want to configure.
Select any of those categories, and expand "Display Settings" tab. Here you'll notice options where you can set what sort options exactly you want to show, and what will be default sorting option for a particular category.
Also, keep in mind that category "Display mode" must be set to "Products" or "Static Block and Products", in order to be able to apply product list toolbar. And "Anchor" must be set to "Yes", too.
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