Security Patch Disaster - NO HELP ANYWHERE!!??? I USED TO LIKE MAGENTO TILL THIS!

[DivinorumKIA]

I am having serious trouble with the Magento Security Patches.

This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in many years.

I have spent hours and hours.. even days.. looking for information and videos.. but there is NOTHING available that actuially works.

All I find is random and variable information which is NEVER CONSISTENT!

Also on the Magento Wiki and Forums.. it is a disaster to find any help.. it takes a very very very long time to get nowhere.
This has been probably the ONLY problem I have not been able to tackle in a long time. I find it very disturbing that Magento would release such a patch and not include any videos or proper "step" instructions that actualy work or even make an EASIER (Uploadable) Patch rather than this .sh nonsense. This is very very frustrating and it is consuming a great deal of time.
I am sure many have also had the same problems..

I am asking if there is any reliable links that can assist in getting me to install the security patches for Magento 1.9.1.0

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY! NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT ANYWHERE. SUCH A COMPLICATED PROCEDURE FOR A SECURITY PATCH ;(.. AND ON TOP OF IT ALL .. NO PROPER DOCU;EMTATION OR INSTRUCTIONS

Note: I have installed Putty.. I have connected to server.. I have followed ALL instructions everywhere... and yet the patches WILL NOT INSTALL.. regardless of variations of attempts.

I REALLY NEED HELP HERE.. I HAVE GIVEN UP ALL HOPE FOR MAGENTO IN FURTHER PROJECTS AS A RESULT OF THIS!

A SERIOUS SHAME ;(

PLEASE EXPLAIN STEP BY STEP OR PROVIDE A LINK WHERE PROPER INSTRUCTIONS ARE PROVIDED..

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME!

I WILL EVEN SEND MONEY TO ANYBODY WHO CAN HELP WITH THIS OR EVEN SUCCESSFULLY INSTAL THE PATCHES!!!!

I CANNOT WAIST ANY MORE TIME WITH MAGENTO SECURITY PATCHES.... has already costed me a great deal of time ;(

[chiefair]

What happens when you use "Free Community Software", you either have the proficiency, or you buy it.

PS: Staging servers help prevent financial pain.

[IKdR]

For me it helped to follow this link

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/20572320/magento-1-7-2-security-patch-error-via-ssh

and add the word "function" in the patches changing

check_installed_tools() {

to

function _check_installed_tools {

afterwards I could run the patches with using PHP File Manager from http://phpfm.sf.net 

[DivinorumKIA · Accepted solution]

Thank You very much. It seems though the issue may have been with my host. I was using a new host that I haden't used before.. and the frustration must have been that SSH was blocked or so?.. I have now just resorted to getting my host to install the patches for me. It was a very frustrating process.. and I really wanted to figure this out. I will take a look at the link and hopefully it will help in the future as I use different hosts. I plan on using Magento in the future so must figure this out. Just too bad it wasn't simpler. To many variables involved.. I had already wasted an incredible amount of time. only to find out I was unable to do it anyways..  But now host has solved this for me.

Anyways.. I thank you for your time and consideration

Wish you a wonderful day!

Cheers, Lucas

[sherrie]

@DivinorumKIA Hi Lucas, so sorry for the headache and that I didn't see your messages sooner. I'm glad you were able to get it resolved in the end! Please feel free to reach out any time.